Keeping a Promise to a Friend

Jack Aubrey Eaves

February 22, 1932 ~ March 27, 2012

Memorial Service, April 31, 2012

Church of God (Holiness), El Dorado Springs, MO

Jack and D’Ette Eaves have become a very special couple to Thomas and me. And just before we left El Dorado Springs, MO last August Jack asked me if I would be willing to speak at his funeral. The request sort of took me aback—because I wasn’t his pastor—in reality he and D’Ette had only become very dear friends just as our time in this community was coming to an end. But because of the sincerity of the request, accompanied by that little devilish smile and the twinkle in his eye, I agreed to speak at his funeral,
but ONLY with his pastors permission. Jack assured me that they would take care of that. So I accepted the invitation.

I sincerely hoped that this day would have been several years down the road. However, when the phone call came last Tuesday in Kentucky where we live now, I knew it was time for me to keep my promise to my friend. I met Jack for the first time a couple of years ago. The LIA House Board invited me to join them as a board member. At the time I was serving the Disciples congregation as their pastor and we shared a common vision with LIA House for this community. In those monthly board meetings I got to know Jack as well as you can in meetings like that. 

My first impression of him was a man with a sharp wit, a dry sense of humor, a heart of compassion, and a deep love for the Lord. And during the years we served together on the LIA board our interactions confirmed my initial estimation of him. Jack Eaves had a deep sense of fairness and justice and he had the courage to speak his mind.  As I overheard said in the last day or two, you never doubted where Jack stood on any issue!  However, his invitation to me to speak at his funeral did not originate in those business meetings.

Last spring after I had given my resignation to First Christian Christian to be effective the end of August, Thomas and I put our house up for sale. To our surprise it sold rather quickly and we were going to be left without a place to live for the last few weeks of our time in El Dorado Springs.  I shared this good news/bad news as a prayer item at the LIA board meeting in July. 

After the meeting dismissed Jack came to me and said, “You and Thomas can stay with us.” I was a little hesitant to accept the offer because we didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, but I told him we would keep the option open.

The movers came on July 20th and (to make a long story short) we didn’t have anywhere else to go—so we gladly accepted Jack and D’Ette’s offer of hospitality. And for the next 11 or 12 days we lived in their guest room and they shared their life with us. Warmly and lovingly Jack and D’Ette embraced us, opening their home and their hearts, sharing the Lord’s love in very practical ways.Often in the evenings after supper we would sit around the table and tell stories.  We talked about everything! The years when we were young—the loves and losses in our relationships as couples—travels—jobs—responsibilities of our young families…. Night after night as we traveled down memory lane the bond between us grew stronger and stronger.

Jack would tell about his work surveying in Montana, or Colorado, or Wyoming—and that memory would prompt a story from one of us. His mention of Montana triggered a torrent of stories from Thomas and from me.  The summer after high school graduation Thomas had gone from his home in Texas to work the hay fields in Montana. The next summer after our freshman year in college Thomas led a mission group from Lubbock, TX to serve churches in Montana. Thomas and I were on the same team and worked with a church in Bozeman, Montana. That’s where our courtship began!

That evening around the Eaves’ dinner table we discovered we had traveled some of the same Montana roads just a few years apart! Thomas would mention a location and Jack would know it because he had surveyed that area of the state! And so it would go, night after night.

Jack’s stories about Wyoming prompted Thomas to tell about his nighttime trip through desolate Wyoming
in a howling blizzard the year he dropped out of college and moved back to Montana!  One story would trigger another until Jack would say, “It’s time for me to go to bed.”

When Jack invited me to speak at his funeral he emphasized one thing. He said, “Remember, it is all about Jesus and not about me.” And I am respecting that today. Everything I’ve said up to this point has been about Jesus because Jack Eaves’ life had been touched by Jesus and a part of what we discovered during those evenings of story-telling was how the Lord’s fingerprints were all over our lives.  As we stood together to pray the last day we were in their home, all four of us realized how much the Lord had been a part of these days. We all agreed: It was a God-thing….

So all I’ve said, up to this point, has been about Jesus!

I’ve mentioned the obvious traits of Jack’s character that demonstrated the character of Christ—Jack’s passion for fairness and justice—his compassion.  Even Jack's personality, his dry sense of humor, and that mischievous smile and the twinkle in his eye celebrated his unique being created in the image of God—redeemed and restored by our Lord, Jesus Christ.

But one of the greatest ways Jack’s life reflected the values of our Lord was his willingness to extend hospitality to Thomas and to me! A radical hospitality—welcoming the stranger—because that is what we were. Jack and D’Ette only knew us superficially—but they opened themselves to be the arms of God to embrace us and bring us into the most sacred space of their home—to share from the depths of their hearts with us. Just as Jesus said in one of his parables, “I was a stranger and you welcomed me…”   Thomas and I experienced the Lord as we were welcomed into the home of Jack and D’Ette Eaves.

As I reflect on those days and evenings with Jack and D’Ette my appreciation for the importance of sharing our stories with one another has deepened! Our faith in God’s faithfulness increases as we remember our life and pinpoint the times God’s story intersects with our stories—to realize how we have grown spiritually though the years—to celebrate what the Lord has done—what the Lord is doing!

So my closing admonition to us would be to demonstrate, like Jack did, the compassion we’ve learned from the Lord—to have the courage to speak out for justice and fairness—but above all to practice radical hospitality—to welcome the stranger—and to have the courage to share your life and your stories so that walls break down—so that community is created—so that the love of God is revealed—and in doing that our faith in God’s faithfulness is strengthened.

When D’Ette called last Tuesday night I went to a biblical resource on my laptop to find a particular scripture. I wanted to find that scripture in James that says life is a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. So I entered the phrase ‘life is’ and thought it would come up—but it didn’t! In the new translation the verse says:

What is your life?
You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

However, when I did the search for the phrase ‘life is’ Colossians 3:3 popped up and I want to close with that thought. The Apostle Paul is writing about godly living, about our commitment to Christ and its effect on our daily life. But last Tuesday night the words in Colossians 3:3 took on a deeper meaning. Listen…as if they are spoken to Jack.

"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

Let us allow these words to be an encouragement to us today as we renew our commitment to the Lord. Remember your baptismal vows, when you were buried with Christ in baptism and were raised to walk in newness of life. For in that act...

…you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Live so that your life is all about Jesus.