Making It Golden!

August 27, 1963

Thomas and I will be away on our anniversary, without connection to the internet, so I reach for my blog journal this morning to record some of my reflections on our fifty years together.  We were young! ...but we were very aware and intentional about our choices.  

Our ceremony took place on Tuesday evening, 7:00 p.m. in the Belton Church of Christ.  Tuesday, because that gave us time to finish preparations on Monday and would give us the most number of days for a honeymoon trip to Corpus Christi before Thomas had to be back in the pulpit on Sunday at the Church of Christ in Dunn, Texas.  We set the time at 7:00 in the evening to allow farmers attending to get in a good day's work before they had to stop and clean up.  (Writing this now makes me smile, but I distinctly remember having that thought as we made our plans.)  

In my mind the ceremony could only take place in the Church of Christ building on Third and Penelope in Belton, Texas, because that was where the Sunday school teachers introduced me to the stories that would begin to shape my understanding of God.  It was also in this church that I had made my commitment to Christ with confession and baptism four years earlier.  This was the only logical location for us to make our commitment to one another.
    

Friends and family gathered with us as we made promises to each other, sincerely and with good intention.  Standing with us in the wedding party were our sisters, my brothers, a cousin, and three college friends, with Whit Herrington officiating.

We probably had very traditional vows, promising "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part...."  To the best of our abilities we have kept those promises to each other, but ready (eventually) to extend grace and forgiveness when we failed.  

Perhaps as important as our vows was one of the hymns that Thomas selected to be sung in the ceremony. Father, Hear the Prayer We Offer became the prayer that framed our life together!  Many times through the years we reached for phrases in this hymn to describe our journey, to confess our weaknesses, or to define our purposes.  

Father, hear the prayer we offer:
Nor for ease that prayer shall be,
But for strength, that we may ever
Live our lives courageously.

Not forever by still waters
Would we idly, quiet stay;
But would smite the living fountains
From the rocks along our way.

Be our strength in hours of weakness,
In our wanderings be our Guide;
Through endeavor, failure, danger,
Father, be Thou at our side.

Let our path be bright or dreary,
Storm or sunshine be our share;
May our souls in hope unweary
Make Thy work our ceaseless prayer.    http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/f/a/fathhear.htm

When the path took us to Zurich, Switzerland in 1966, then to various locations of ministry in Europe during the next sixteen years, a phrase out of the third verse jumped out at us!  "...in our wanderings be our Guide."   

When our family of five returned to the States in 1982 we trusted our Guide as we muddled our way through the counter-culture shock that we all experienced to one degree or another.  In recent weeks Thomas requested that this same hymn be sung at his funeral.  So, if I am the survivor I will make arrangements for that to be done--if he promises to have it sung at my funeral should he be the survivor.

In the last fifty years we have learned the value of mutual submission encouraged by the scriptures, Ephesians 5:21. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."  Wife to husband, husband to wife!

I have learned the spiritual power released when a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church!  In that safe environment the wife can more easily become the person God intended her to be. 

We have also learned that maturing together in Christ is a work in progress, sometimes taking two steps forward and one step back. Through endeavor, failure, danger... we press on, regardless.  In other words, we are still working at it, still learning, still growing... very aware, very intentional... till death do us part!

August 27, 2013 ~ Here we are, fifty years later!
Is it possible that we've really been married that long?  

I made other reflections on marriage in an earlier blog....a good solid incompatibility!

I also recommend these thoughts from Lesli Beckham Douglass...  not as old as we are, but wise and insightful and bold in her honesty.

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